My Weaknesses: Time Management, Ice Cream and Peanut Butter, Shopping, Laziness/Cuddling with Cats, and Useless Guilt.
I have many strengths I just wouldn’t know where to start (insert sarcastic tone), so today I’ll focus on my weaknesses.
I took off from work yesterday, Monday, from work to catch up on house duties and some early gym time after a whirlwind of a Mother’s Day weekend. I was lazy though, and reverted back to very poor habits.
It started off with a healthy egg white omelet for breakfast with my darling man, who didn’t finish his French Toast, so I helped him. Damn my helpful nature! My main squeeze is not a big eater, which does not compute in my mind. So, after partaking in a few extra calories, I figured I’d work it all off in the gym later. Well, I had intended to get to the gym. But alas, my strong and capable legs did not walk the 4 blocks. Oh, how the road to Hell is paved with good intentions.
It’s amazing how sometimes (not always) I feel such guilt if I don’t go to the gym or do any sort of movement (yoga, pilates) on my day off, and then I start my way down a slippery slope of caloric self sabotage. I have control over what I eat and how I move, and by choosing to be lazy and unhealthy the guilt kicks in to the extreme. To add insult to injury, yesterday was after a feast of a day celebrating with both my Significant Other’s family and mine for the Mother’s Day holiday over the weekend. I was able to squeeze in an hour at the gym beforehand on Sunday, but I was looking forward to Monday off and 3 hours at the gym. 3+ hours I spent doing the complete opposite!
Upon returning home from breakfast at the diner, my house is a mess. I get into house cleaning/laundry/dusting mode. This leads me to sorting a lot of the stuff I’ve accumulated from my love of shopping and collecting stuff over the years. I am motivated to downsize not only because my boyfriend is moving in next month (exciting!) but because we often watch Hoarders and he jokingly tells me I have the beginning signs of Hoarding. (lol-damn him for being right). By this time it’s time for a late lunch and the idea of getting to the gym before the after work 5pm crowd is less and less likely to happen. I then proceeded to make poor high calorie lunch choices (pizza? yes please!) and gave in to a pint of Edy’s Maxx Chocolate Peanut Butter ice cream (omg yum) and sat my ass on the couch, IN MY GYM CLOTHES. Food as comfort is an ongoing theme in my life.
20 minutes later, I felt gross. A feeling I know all too well from my overeating habits. A feeling I know will be the result of my actions.
After my lunch feast, I decided it’s time to play around with my new DVR (and of course cuddle with my adorable cats). That was a big mistake if I ever wanted to get my butt off the couch and moving. 10 hours and many feature films later, it was time to pass out and go to bed. Monday was over and I was well over calories and feeling guilty for not taking the time to get to the gym. Distracting myself with positive house tasks helped me a little with the guilt of feeling unproductive wellness wise. Fortunately, last night I did not have much of a dinner nor continue to stuff my gullet for the rest of the night (which is actually a very bad past habit of mine.)
As far as a day of fitness and wellness, yesterday was a wash. As far as organization and donating crap and getting it out of my house, yesterday was a success.
Today I packed my gym clothes and plan to hit it HARD after work. I know if I made better choices it wouldn’t be such a roller coaster, but I think it’s a small victory knowing I have started fresh today and will not continue down the path to nutritional destruction. Putting the breaks on a down spiral is just as difficult, if not more, as making the best nutritional decision from the get go. This is something I’m continuing to struggle with, and I’m thankful to have such a loving support system to help cheer me on. Managing my time and health priorities is something I’m getting better at, but I still fall victim to these tiny set backs!
Thank you, dear readers, friends, and family, for not only being non-judgemental but understanding it’s a learning process.
I’m getting there!