In 2005 I lost 100 pounds by drastically cutting calories and over exercising. I’ve struggled with yo-yo dieting since graduating college in 2000. I was staying at home with my parents at the time so I didn’t have any homeowner responsibility and I was only working part time. I was spoiled and I focused on losing the weight I’ve carried around my whole life. But my motivation was shallow.
Towards the end of my first weight loss journey I attended Massage Therapy School at Institute for Therapeutic Massage where my body parts were scantily unveiled. I became obsessed with working out every day and cut corners and limited my food intake to a dangerously low calorie per day regiment to reach an unrealistic weight goal for my larger frame. Once I hit my 100 pound goal, it became difficult to maintain. I also lost my feminine curves during this journey but when i still looked in the mirror I saw that 280 pound girl and felt disgusted, eating my feelings of disappointment in my results. I definitely identify with body dysmorphic disorder to some degree.
Before I knew it, I got a full time job at a college library in 2006 and started putting the weight back on since I could not go to the gym for 4 hours a day and I was sitting behind a desk. This became frustrating for me and I just gave up trying to remain in a smaller body. I quickly gained all the weight back.
June 2012 was another turning point for me. I was uncomfortable in my skin, tired all the time, avoiding mirrors like they were going to steal my soul. My hilarious and jolly personality was not enough to make me feel good about myself. I had to change how my body was making me feel. I had to change how my habits were causing me guilt and depression due to constant personal internal lambasting over the cyclical bad decisions I kept making. I wanted to stop making poor choices and take control of my body for the rest of my days. I’ve always embraced change, this time I was going to embrace it and better my quality of life for good.
With the guidance of my young General Practitioner I started my difficult journey to get healthy again and remain healthy. Despite my uncomfortable past relationships with healthcare professionals, my GP doctor won me over with his non-judgmental bedside manner, positive disposition, innovative suggestions, and sense of humor. I felt comfortable talking to him about my weight struggles. It’s nice to have a medical or spiritual professional on your side during your journey to wellness, but it’s not necessary. You can do this on your own. You are completely capable.
This Blog was created 8 months into my journey in February 2013. I gave myself a goal to reach and maintain a healthy and practical lifestyle and just be happy with who I am. Hopefully you will enjoy reading about my experiences and perhaps even run along side me as I venture on while facing every day road blocks. But believe me, I am no expert!
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This blog is a record of my experience and opinions and is not intended to train or teach specific weight loss tips. I am not an expert in these things, i am just passionately curious. What works for me may not work for you, and my opinion may not be the same as yours. This is my corner of the internet to let these thoughts flow freely.
-Katy Lynn Ells
Certified Massage Therapist
Library Media Technical Assistant
Avid Cat Enthusiast